The Standoff

As much as I would love to report that our household is 100% rodent free, Remy the elusive mouse made an appearance tonight. Naturally, I was home alone.

I had just come downstairs to cozy up on the couch next to the fire to read when I saw...movement...out of the corner of my eye. The mouse was running along the length of the far wall in our living room and then disappeared behind our TV. I let out what can only be described as the girliest of girlie squeals and then there he was again, from behind the TV trying to made a run for it. He ran half way across the bottom of the fireplace and then must have freaked out either by the heat or me squealing, did a 180 and bolted back behind the TV again.

I sat there for a moment, absolutely oblivious as to what to do, so I picked up my cell phone and dialed my husband.

"Uh, hi." There was no way I was going to come off sounding like anything other than the world's biggest twit. "So...I was wondering how soon you might be home? Because, you see..."

Ah, the hell with it.

"The mouse is behind the TV and I was hoping you could come home right away to deal with it. Please?"

(pause)

"You could try to cover it with a bowl or something until I get there."

A bowl? Really?

"Just come home soon, OK?"

The moment I hung up the phone I saw two beady little eyes poking out the side of the TV table, so without even thinking, I blurted out "NO!" and back behind the TV he went. A few minutes went by until once again, I spied a little mousey face peeking around the table at me to see if I was still there.

"NO! Go away little mouse!" I ordered...and back behind the TV he went. If nothing else, he was obedient.

After several rounds of this, I had the brilliant idea to set one of the mousetraps in front of the gap between the table and the wall that he kept appearing in. I crept up to the TV, plopped the trap down, bolted for the couch and pulled my feet up underneath me.

We stayed that way, the mouse and me, for half an hour. Him looking to see if the loud human had finally given up and disappeared, and me barking orders at a tiny mouse like some deranged Drill Sergeant. Finally I spied him except this time, the mouse wasn't going to let me bully him back behind the TV again. He darted out, completely bypassed the clever trap I had set for him and ran his little heart out: past the fireplace and the crazed human yelling and stomping her feet, and through the dining room. The last glimpse I had was that of two tiny mouse ears and a tail, silhouetted in the light of the mouse safe-haven that is our kitchen.

Just then, the front door opened and in walked my husband and daughter.

"So, did you trap him under a bowl?"

I looked long and hard at the man that stood before me, disguised as the man I fell in love with, before answering.

"No...no I didn't."

"You mean you let him get away?"

I smiled sweetly and gently covered my daughter's ears so that I could properly address my husband and his suggested mouse trapping technique.